There was a point in my life where
To the I Love ARR community,
There was a point in my life where (Piano playing in the background) Kaanju poi pasumaye illaama vaalkai poitrundha time I was introduced to this community. The I LOVE ARR community, a place where a RAHMANIAC can be him/herself without being perceived as a weirdo. Music has always played an integral role in my life. It stood beside me and raised me up every single day. When I began to roll in pain through the deepest depths of hurt, music breathed fresh air into me, kept me moving forward with regard to my emotions. I write when something keeps piking my brain, though I wish I had a pensive like the one Dumbledore had, so as to be able to keep memories and thoughts afresh. I began watching the PODCAST that Chander had uploaded and it invited me to write to all of you.
I wasn’t this very outgoing person when I was in school
I wasn’t this very outgoing person when I was in school. I was more often thrown around amongst classmates and looked down upon (Adolescent chronicles). There were varied list of reasons behind those incidents but I felt like a loner, someone who was not wanted, Solitude became my best friend even though there were so many people around me. Something like this Kootathil oruthan feeling. I had been singing at church since I was a little child and I began to learn to play the keyboard a little while later. My dad used to sing in the shower and I followed from the outside. I joined the choir and later people started looking at me and talking to me. I loved it. It felt good to be able to connect to people through my singing. Then came the ARR influence in my life.
Thank God and my mom of course for being able to afford a nice music system for us at home. It was a Kenwood speaker system with DOLBY (Yes! Dolby surround). I vividly remember getting the cassette tape from a small store in Adyar when I was returning back from school. A cassette tape with a green cover which read BOYS! Rushed back home on the cycle and popped the cassette into the player. Began listening to Yenakkoru girlfriend (Adolescent chronicles – just 2 people were willing to talk to me and neither of them was a girl). The song made so much sense to me in terms of lyrics but then the music hit me. The beginning of the song was so new and refreshing that I had to listen to SIDE A and then SIDE B at one go. The SAREGAME song was such an eye opener that it actually did make me cry. I had some knowledge about music but never did know how to enjoy it until BOYS album came along. I remember singing the RAP parts over and over again (Those days we had to rewind cassettes and then play them). Went to school one day and began singing that in class during some competition series. Classmates began to recognize who I was, they began to see a different person, it felt nice and I felt reborn. For having turned my life around – Ella pughazhum ARR sir ke.
When I went and joined undergrad, life took a different turn
When I went and joined undergrad, life took a different turn. Little did I know that I would consume more knowledge about music over medicine (Don’t worry, MBBS passed in flying colours). Rudhan Porunmozhy, one of our members, my beloved senior began to nurture my talent and kept me singing all the time. I mean literally all the time. I would wake up with music, come back to the hostel and listen to music all round the clock. He was patient enough to let me understand the intricacies of music and how it is produced. Though an ardent Raja fan, He always helped me look deeper into the programming work that ARR sir’s music would reflect. It was at that phase in life when I began listening to track after track in awe and wonder for this man, The LEGEND. I began listening to all his songs starting from Roja to thiruda thiruda to Iruvar to Uzhavan to Boys to Delhi6, so on and so forth. I was flabbergasted by the sheer presence of music all around one’s head while using the headphones. His work spoke to me in ways that only I can understand. I believe all of us would have had the same perception with regard to his music.
Later during that period in time, I began feeling like a loner once again. I would want to talk about the music that is so beautifully produced and composed and no one would bother. The excitement I had in my being could only be shared with myself in the mirror or inside my head listening to more and more music. Not a lot of people understood when I told them that the strings section was bang on or the flute was heavenly or the bass line of that song was fantabulous. They would look back at me like it made no sense at all. I can’t blame them for not having understood the true potential that ARR sir’s music would reverberate. Time passed and I had to move on, keeping my music to myself and just a couple of people whom I could share the wonders of his music with. It didn’t feel very nice to keep within myself and not share it around, but I didn’t want to look like a maniac to other people. Those doors in me shut and started having big padlocks and cobwebs.
It took me while to consider but I typed in the information and then came Chander bro’s message.
Thank you Dr. Shilpa for turning on the lights in that room. I take this moment to thank her for having spoken to me about this Community. The casually texted and asked me if I had the time to look into something. It was a link to the I LOVE ARR Community page. She spent a few moments telling me that it was the place for me to be and that I would thoroughly enjoy it. I was told that I could unleash my inner self and have no one consider it weird or strange. It took me while to consider but I typed in the information and then came Chander bro’s message.
Chander anna (if I can call u Anna), Thank you for having initiated this long marathon of a run.
Chander anna (if I can call u Anna), Thank you for having initiated this long marathon of a run. The I LOVE ARR Community seems to be growing like a never-ending marathon and I am so happy to be a part of it. I might have not seen everyone’s face on this group or might not know where you are from and how your life is, all I know is that we share the same love for ARR sir’s music. It baffled me to first begin reading the conversations on the group. It was uncanny resemblance of the things in my head. It reverberated with the thoughts in my mind about the music that I listen to. People understood when I mentioned about the Strings section being so eerie or the brass being so elegant. I was able to discuss on how the bass played around like a little child dancing for the song or how the flute felt like flying a kite with your eyes closed. How his songs made us feel like flying through the wind or floating on a serene lake. It all made sense to each one of you. I started forgetting about the loneliness that I was pushed into and lost track of the time with my life. I feel alive and more like myself when I am spending time with the community. The love and the positivity that you all share is magnanimous. The care and concern that you all show are just plain loveable. To be brutally honest, I feel at home. Thank you once again for having me here.
Might just be a rant, but it’s the truth from the heart.